Welcome

HOME | ARCHIVE | FACTS | QUOTES | COMMENT | CONTACT

9 September 2006: Having called the Chancellor  “stupid, stupid, stupid” and “deluded” and “absolutely stupid” and “totally, totally uncollegiate” and “very difficult indeed” to work with, “a control freak” suffering from “a massive weakness”, it’s hard to see in which direction Charles Clarke’s career can develop. Is he pitching for a lucrative job in the press gallery from which he can heckle?

In the old Denis Wheatley world of black magic, curses had to succeed or they rebounded on the issuing party.

To call the probable next prime minister  a “stupid, stupid, stupid, absolutely stupid, totally, totally uncollegiate massively weak freak” surely won't hurt the Chancellor (it's hardly news), and it can’t be good for the prime minister’s Respect agenda either. No, the main casualty of the assault is likely to be poor old Chuckles himself.

Dr Demento and Alan Johnson. Yes, this must be the ticket, if they can agree between themselves. Johnson is affable but not prime ministerial timber. Dr Demento, for all his faults, is substantial, credible, and has the sheer relentlessness to be a contender. 

People don’t stand expecting to win, necessarily. They stand in the expectation of garnering enough votes to make their position in the cabinet stronger. It would be hard to leave a figure out who represented such a large section of party opinion. Assuming a large section of party opinion comes your way. 

And then of course, they might win. Remember, these people are professional optimists, And it’s the oldest question in politics: “Why not me?” Certainly, it's the only question we can ask Dr Demento to which he just can't find an answer.

The clinching argument is that the public wants a contest. The electorate is three to one in favour of a leadership election. It would be popular! 

9 September 2006: Who is the Cabinet minister who told Nick Robinson, “It would be an absolute fucking disaster  if Gordon Brown was prime minister and I will do everything in my power to fucking stop him.” John Hutton, the clever Work and Pensions minister is said to be the one. But he can’t be that clever as he backs Alan Milburn.

Alan Milburn will never lead the Labour party for three reasons:

First, he hasn’t the stomach for the fight to get there (Gordon Brown saw him off over foundation hospitals).

Second, he hasn’t the strategic abilities even to guide an election campaign (Gordon Brown saw him off there as well).

And third, he treated Labour MPs with such contempt after his resignation he wouldn’t even sit with them on the backbenches. I don’t think I ever saw him sit down in the House of Commons except on the front bench (when he came back as Chancellor. Of the Duchy of Lancaster). Why would MPs vote for him?

9 September 2006: This is the quote: " . . . the next party conference in a couple of weeks will be my last party conference as party leader . . . ". 

Not, you notice, "last as prime minister".

It is known that Tony Blair took advice a year or so ago about the constitutional distinction between party leader and prime minister. The idea they were investigating was this: would it be possible to carry on as prime minister even though another person had become party leader?

And is the PM preserving the distinction just in case?

It is, actually, a very interesting idea. Insofar as it shows how completely crackers they can be. 

9 September 2006: If the Times is right, last week’s events represent the second bungled attempt this year by Brown’s faction to pull off a large-scale, multi-dimensional coup.

The 16 resignations by invisible parliamentarians (15 PPSs and Tom Watson) were designed to be the first wave with two further letters and a ministerial delegation to follow. But the resignations from the 2005 cohort and the 1997 cohort never materialised.

The Prime Minister was supposed to be gone by today.

Still, we’re optimists. We’ve rallied against a terrible pessimism that suggested they might have plastered over the cracks, allowing a glutinously affectionate show of solidarity at the party conference. Charles Clarke has at least done what he can to prevent that.